How to Tune Your Inner Voice | Rhonda Ross, Daniel Alexander Jones | TED

Rhonda Ross, a singer-songwriter, performer, and actress, discusses her work with mindset and emotional sovereignty, a practice rooted in her personal journey. She recounts a period of significant professional and personal success after graduating from Brown, including an Emmy nomination and marriage. However, this period was followed by a downturn: her Emmy went to someone else, her soap opera was canceled, and she and her husband were physically separated as she pursued work in Los Angeles while he remained in New York. They were also trying unsuccessfully to conceive. Unemployed and facing these challenges, Ross entered one of the darkest times of her life, blaming her circumstances and feeling victimized and stuck. Recognizing she couldn't remain in that state, Ross began to study the power of thought. She discovered that between circumstances and how one feels about them lie one’s thoughts, which she calls an "inner soundtrack." It is this inner voice, not external circumstances, that determines feelings. She realized that while people often blame circumstances and feel victimized, the power to feel better—to feel optimistic, at peace, and empowered—resides within oneself. This insight led her to develop and practice what she calls emotional sovereignty, which she has been teaching for 25 years through her music, art, and mindset coaching. Daniel Alexander Jones, her friend, connects Ross's work to a "grand tradition of artists who focused on capital-F Freedom." He cites the example of Vinie Burrows, a mentor they shared, who, frustrated by limitations placed on Black actors in the 1950s, created her own solo performance pieces and performed over 6,000 times worldwide. Burrows's mantra, "Life is motion," resonates with Ross's practice of harnessing life in motion. Ross shares a personal story about Burrows's impact during a miscarriage while Ross was performing in Jones's play, "Phoenix Fabrik." Burrows's dramatic yet insightful response, "It's the end of the world... But it isn't," highlighted the importance of perspective and reframing circumstances. Ross explains that her work helps her remember that there is always space to shift her inner soundtrack. She learned to translate difficult circumstances, such as her third miscarriage, by adopting a friend's affirming perspective: "Your body's getting ready for the one." This allowed her to feel empowered rather than defeated. Ross emphasizes that her work is about recognizing personal agency. Life will inevitably present challenges, and while one may not like or choose these events, they happen nonetheless. The practice is about using these experiences to empower oneself rather than letting them cause despair. She admits that even after 25 years, she still has to actively apply these principles, recounting a recent "meltdown" on 125th Street when her son wasn't where he was supposed to be. In that moment, she had to consciously cool herself out and reframe the situation, realizing it was only a few minutes and she could decide how to interpret it. Jones praises Ross for providing a concrete example of translating macro-level concepts to micro-level, everyday choices, noting that internal struggles can be profound even when invisible to others. He then shifts the conversation to connection, continuum, and generation, referencing scholar Alexis Pauline Gumbs's story about Harriet Tubman's vision before the Combahee River raid, where Tubman declared, "My people are free," in the present tense. This leads to a discussion of purpose and freedom in the present tense. Ross elaborates on her "tune your inner voice" process, which involves several steps. The first crucial step is acknowledging the inner space, one's agency within it, and that thoughts determine feelings, with the individual being the thinker of those thoughts. Step two is to investigate and name one's feelings without gaslighting oneself, as naming a feeling can help it dissipate. Step three involves identifying the "automatic screwy thought" (AST) or "automatic sabotaging thought" that triggers the feeling, rather than blaming the circumstance. Once identified, this AST is then shifted into an "intentionally nourishing thought" (INT), which is a customized affirmation. Because it emerges from this personal process, it resonates deeply. Finally, leveraging her musical background, Ross suggests attaching the INT to a melody, creating a "songtra" for emotional sovereignty. This personalized songtra, a mantra set to music, can then loop in one's mind, changing one's perspective and serving as a tool for preparation or crisis management. Ross stresses that this process is accessible to everyone, regardless of musical background. Jones connects her work to a lineage, including her parents Diana Ross and Berry Gordy, and her studies with jazz musician Abbey Lincoln. He views this lineage as a "relay race," where one carries forward ancestral wisdom in one's own unique way. Ross agrees, noting that her husband, Rodney Kendrick, taught her about making "your own music," similar to how Duke Ellington and Thelonious Monk created their distinct sounds. She emphasizes that while this is personal, individualized work, its effects reverberate outwards. She quotes Eric Liu, who defined sovereignty not just as "get off my lawn" but also "I'm responsible for my lawn." Ross concludes that when individuals take responsibility for their own mindsets and feelings, they stop being victims and also avoid victimizing others. She believes that much of the world's unkindness, inequity, and violence stems from people believing others must act for them to feel better, and that this cycle can end when individuals embrace their emotional sovereignty.