Why Everyone Around You Looks Richer Than They Are

Many people feel like they are falling behind financially, comparing their own progress to others who appear wealthier. This perception is often misleading, as visible spending can create a false sense of success. For example, younger consumers, millennials and Gen Z, now account for nearly half of global luxury spending, while total credit card debt in the United States has surpassed $1.2 trillion. This simultaneous reality highlights a disconnect between perceived wealth and actual financial stability. Consider a scenario where you and a coworker, Eric, earn the same salary. You drive a used 2021 Corolla, costing $25,000 with a monthly payment of about $490, totaling around $600 with gas and insurance. Your goal is to own it outright in five years. Eric, however, drives a brand new 2025 BMW, starting at $57,000, and claims his payment is only $429 a month. This seems contradictory, making you feel like you're doing something wrong. What Eric doesn't mention is that he leased the car, putting down $4,999 at signing. In three years, he'll return the car with no equity or ownership, essentially having rented it. On the surface, Eric appears to be winning, but his visible spending masks a lack of long-term asset building. This illustrates the danger of judging financial success based on incomplete information. Another example involves two individuals: you and Chloe. You consistently invest, follow financial advice, and spend on meaningful experiences like concerts or trips. Chloe, on the other hand, boasts designer bags, luxury cars, and regular beauty treatments, giving the impression of a lavish lifestyle. However, Chloe doesn't invest at all, and her brokerage account balance is zero. While Chloe's spending is loud and visible, your quiet wealth building, like a $150,000 brokerage account, is invisible. Truly wealthy individuals often practice "stealth wealth," avoiding ostentatious displays to protect their privacy and avoid becoming targets. They don't need to perform for anyone. Conversely, much of what is seen online—vacations, exotic cars, luxury items—is often financed on credit by individuals who may not be genuinely successful. Their identities are tied to their online presence, broadcasting wealth they might not truly possess or are trying to sell. Real wealth does not typically post extensively online; it's not loud. The wealthiest people are often the most low-key, humble, and meek, unlike those who are loudest about their possessions, who are often the most broke. Humans tend to compare themselves only upwards, focusing on those with bigger houses, nicer cars, higher salaries, and flashier job titles. This upward comparison can be draining and is often called "the thief of joy." If one were to zoom out and compare their life to someone without reliable food, clean water, or shelter, their perspective would shift dramatically. Similarly, in the corporate world, comparing oneself to a VP when you're a manager can lead to feelings of inadequacy. Instead, progress should be measured by personal skill growth, movement towards individual goals, and a sense of actual progress, not by others' job titles. Building wealth requires delaying gratification, a difficult but crucial aspect. Unlike the instant gratification often seen on platforms like Reddit's Wall Street Bets, where one-off jackpot trades are highlighted, real wealth accumulation takes time and consistency. These "quick buck" scenarios come with enormous risk, and for every success story, there are thousands who lose everything. Investors are compensated for the risk they take; low-risk options like savings accounts offer low rewards, while high-risk ventures like startups offer the potential for high rewards but also high rates of failure. Sustainable wealth building is a slow and steady process that compounds over time. Observing someone who has achieved financial independence or a "work-optional" lifestyle at 40 might lead to assumptions of luck or ease. However, what remains unseen are the years of immense sacrifice: working demanding jobs in harsh conditions, pulling 100+ hour weeks, and potentially sacrificing health, relationships, and personal time. The "grass may seem greener" until the true cost of that success is understood. It's essential to define your own version of success and not accept someone else's just because it looks appealing from a distance. Often, those who appear to have it all are not content, having sacrificed deeply for their lifestyles. The comparison trap is not a willpower problem but a design problem. Our brains are wired to compare, and social media exacerbates this. The financial system, with products like leases and buy-now-pay-later schemes, makes it easy to appear wealthy without actually being so. When feeling behind, it's crucial to ask, "behind to what? Behind to whom?" Stop comparing yourself to others and be content with who you are and what you've achieved, knowing you've given your best effort. Taking responsibility for your financial future, seeking education or licenses to increase income, and actively working towards goals are vital. In America, it's possible to change your family tree in one generation through effort and determination. Don't make excuses or complain; take fate into your own hands.