Who You Think You Are | Eleonora Yakubova & Isabella Eleonora | TEDxDanube Intl School Vienna Youth

Many people experience a gap between who they are and who they want to be, even successful individuals like Matthew McConaughey, who walked away from millions to stop being an inauthentic version of himself. This isn't about changing desires, but about acting based on who we *believe* we are, not who we *want* to be. Phrases like "I can't do it" often reflect identity, not ability. In psychology, identity is an internal system filtering what feels possible or appropriate. If an action aligns with our identity, we do it easily; otherwise, motivation fluctuates, causing discipline to fail. Our brain's "default mode network" (DMN) creates a self-narrative, filtering reality to align with our identity, like a search engine we unknowingly installed through repeated actions. Hesitation or waiting for the "right moment" isn't a motivation problem. From childhood, we internalize hierarchies and limits, leading to "authority bias" – following figures even when it feels wrong. Social psychologist Pierre Bourdieu called these "habitus," invisible rules about our place. Action doesn't start with ability but acceptance, which often requires defiance. Rosa Parks' refusal, for instance, triggered validation rather than being legitimized first. We often wait for an outcome only action can produce, like seeking job experience for a job that requires it. Systems are shared assumptions about who belongs. If 25% of people model new behavior, the entire group can shift because it lowers the psychological cost of fear. Change starts with people acting differently. Instead of asking, "What will happen if I do something?" ask, "Who do I become if I do not?" Don't say, "I'm trying to become a runner," say, "I'm becoming a runner." This makes it part of your identity. To foster change, show people who they can be. Instead of telling students to study, encourage them to think like a scientist or build like an engineer. Motivation sticks more than obligation. The question isn't what you want to do, but who you believe you are *allowed* to be. This shapes your life, determining what you dare to do, the people you meet, and the person you ultimately become.