The Secret to Getting Anything You Want in Life given by Jennifer Cohen | Jen Cohen | TEDxBuckhead

We often don't achieve our desires due to self-doubt, which stems from fears like failure or rejection. Self-doubt manifests as a story we tell ourselves, convincing us that certain things are impossible or that we'll inevitably fail. This is why intelligent individuals sometimes hesitate to act, as they are adept at foreseeing potential negative outcomes. Boldness, however, is presented as a stronger predictor of success than intelligence, as bold individuals focus on the positive outcomes that can arise. The speaker illustrates this point with a personal anecdote from when she was 18, growing up in a small Canadian town. Her dream was to become a VJ for MuchMusic, the Canadian equivalent of MTV. Knowing the job was highly competitive, she decided she needed an exceptional demo tape. A unique opportunity arose when Keanu Reeves, then a major movie star, came to Winnipeg to perform Hamlet. The speaker boldly decided to get him on her demo tape. Despite skepticism from friends and family, she went to the theater where he was performing and waited for over an hour in freezing temperatures. When he emerged, she approached him, bypassing other fans and media, and declared that he would be her "ticket to her dream job." When he offered an autograph, she declined, explaining her need for him to help her achieve her dream. After he initially tried to dismiss her by asking for her number with a promise to call, she resourcefully wrote her number on a gum wrapper with an eyeliner and handed it to him. The next few days brought teasing from her friends, who doubted Keanu would call. However, on the third day, she discovered he had indeed called, leaving messages on her answering machine, asking for her. After regaining her composure, she called him back and boldly explained her request. Two days later, Keanu Reeves was on her parents' sofa, participating in her demo tape recording, complete with amateur camcorders and a boom mic. While she did secure an audition and interview at MuchMusic with her unique demo tape, she ultimately did not get the job. The significance of this experience, however, was a pivotal lesson: to achieve what you want, you must simply ask for it. In an age of information overload and countless experts offering advice, the most fundamental step is often overlooked: taking action instead of over-deliberating, planning, or creating flowcharts. As the saying goes, "you miss 100% of the shots you don't take." Boldness is defined as chasing what you want, rather than settling for what's convenient or available. There's a common misconception that boldness is an innate trait, but it's actually a skill that can be practiced and developed. The speaker introduces a "10% target" mindset: for anything you desire most in life, commit to making ten attempts. Most people don't even make one attempt, calling themselves out before trying. The goal of the 10% target is to become comfortable with failing 90% of the time. The speaker guarantees that out of ten attempts, at least one will be successful, either by achieving the desired outcome or discovering an unexpected opportunity. She highlights that many people don't get the jobs or money they want because they don't actively pursue them or ask for what they deserve. A survey of 160,000 people who felt they deserved more money revealed that two-thirds never asked for a raise, but 70% of those who did ask received one. The 10% target not only builds comfort with failure but also fosters resilience. Practicing boldness can start with small actions, like ordering off-menu at a restaurant. This habit of asking for small things builds the confidence and skills to ask for bigger things in life. To get comfortable with failing nine out of ten times, continuous practice is key, much like training your body. The speaker's single action item is for everyone to write down their biggest desire and commit to making ten attempts. This approach ensures you are actively chasing what you want, not just accepting what you can get. The speaker concludes by sharing her own journey as living proof that by chasing what you want, you become exponentially happier and more satisfied. Despite not being the fastest, prettiest, or smartest, she became a best-selling author, a successful entrepreneur, and a co-founder of a breast cancer charity, all by embracing failure 90% of the time. You too can fail your way to success by boldly pursuing your desires.