The Willingness to Be Laughed At | Devashish Chakravarty | TEDxJaipur National University

The speaker recounts a personal anecdote from December in Leh, Ladakh, where, as a 22-year-old Indian army officer, he was slated to captain an ice hockey team despite never having skated. At 5 AM, on a frozen lake with temperatures at -20°C, he found himself wearing army boots fitted with ice skates by a cobbler. His team, equally inexperienced, faced an opposing team already practicing. Upon being called by the referee, he turned to address his team and immediately fell flat on his face, eliciting laughter from the crowd. This experience highlights a core problem: society teaches us to wait until we are ready, fearing ridicule for incompetence. However, the speaker argues that growth is available to those willing to embrace incompetence. He shares another story from his youth, at 16, joining the National Defense Academy (NDA). Despite being UPSC rank one academically, he was physically one of the weakest among 300 fit cadets. During a 25 km forced march with weights and a weapon, he gave up, dropping out at the second checkpoint and resting in a medical van while his team, which had carried his gear, finished last. The silence from his teammates, more painful than any scolding, fueled a resolution to never let them down again due to physical weakness. From that night on, he volunteered for the heaviest loads in all training activities. By his second year, he completed the march, carrying heavy loads for part of the distance. By his final year, he was in the top one-third physically, no longer in the medical van. Still haunted by a voice calling him incompetent, he took up sailing, a new sport where he was initially terrible, constantly falling into the water. After years of persistence, at 29, he represented India in the Asia-Pacific Sailing Championship, finishing 17th out of 25. This achievement, 12 years after letting down his batchmates, silenced the voice of self-doubt. He realized that sustained willingness to be incompetent eventually leads to competence. Returning to the ice hockey incident, the speaker elaborates. He was called at midnight to captain the battalion team the next morning. Despite his protests about not knowing how to skate, it was a commanding officer's order. At 5 AM, he and his equally clueless team faced the practicing opponents. After his initial fall, his team also fell trying to stand. They struggled to the center of the rink. The match began disastrously; their goalkeeper, unable to stand, held onto the goalpost, which was illegal. When he let go, he fell, and the opponents scored. The first 12 minutes saw a score of 28-0. The referee ended the match, and the team was mortified. The next day, a huge crowd gathered, having heard about the previous day's spectacle. After another embarrassing loss, the speaker approached his commanding officer, who was laughing about the story. The speaker requested a day off before each match for practice and proper equipment. Granted this, the team spent their day off learning to stand on skates and the goalkeeper practiced stopping 400 shots. For the next match, they devised a strategy: five players formed a wall in front of the goal, and the sixth joined after starting the match. This defensive tactic worked. The first three quarters ended 0-0. The match went to a penalty shootout. After four shots, it was 4-4. Their goalkeeper, from his practice, stopped the fifth opponent shot. Their team scored, winning 5-4. The laughing crowd erupted in cheers. They continued to play, ranking fourth in the garrison and reaching the semi-finals. In the semi-finals, they faced the championship-winning team, essentially the Indian national team. The opponents' shots were so powerful they caused injuries despite their defensive wall. They lost 17-0. Despite the defeat and injuries, the speaker reflected that he was one of only four people in India that year who could claim to be a semi-finalist ice hockey captain, and he was the only one who hadn't known how to skate until that December. This experience taught him that he could be publicly laughed at and still choose to continue. The speaker then discusses a more fundamental challenge: losing identity and income. In December 2004, after 17 years, he took voluntary retirement from the army. On his last day, a panic attack struck as he contemplated life without his uniform and identity as a Major. He felt he knew nothing and had no skills. He planned for the CAT exam but needed income, so he sought a job. He was rejected as a radio jockey. At a call center interview for a team leader role, a 40-year-old operations manager, a retired army sergeant, recognized him as a former Major and discreetly asked him to leave, not wanting to be embarrassed by interviewing his senior. This rejection brought relief, not wounded pride. He had already mentally stripped himself of his army identity, hitting rock bottom. The external validation of being "better than this room" from an ex-colleague gave him immense relief. He realized that the "looking good" habit was expensive. He went on to score 100 percentile in CAT, joined IIM, graduated, and became an entrepreneur. However, the "looking good" mentality resurfaced. On two occasions, he refused reasonable buyout offers for his companies because his narrative as an "entrepreneur" prevented him from becoming an employee elsewhere, costing him years of growth. The speaker concludes by reflecting on the internal voice that warns against making a fool of oneself. He shares the story of two software engineers in his company who decided to sell flowers and gifts, challenging the market leader despite family and investor disapproval. They were willing to step out of their "cage" of self-respect. On their first delivery, one broke his nose, they were chased by dogs, and their delivery was initially rejected. Yet, their willingness to endure these embarrassments and inconveniences led them to build one of India's largest flower and cake delivery businesses without external investment, simply by being willing to be incompetent and ridiculed. He emphasizes that every day presents opportunities for which we are not competent. Whether graduating, pursuing higher education, or seeking a new job, we will face situations where we might fail or be judged incompetent. The willingness to be incompetent in public long enough to become competent—