Cringe is Just Learning | Rajan Chidambaram | TEDxUVA

Rajin, a recent graduate from the University of Virginia, introduces the concept of "cringe" as a misunderstood, yet essential, ingredient in building something real. He prompts the audience to consider the journey of impressive online personalities, noting the significant gap between their beginnings and their current success. This gap, he argues, is not defined by failure or inexperience, but by "cringe"—the awkward, embarrassing initial attempts that are a necessary part of learning and growth. He reflects on his time at UVA, describing a polished, corporate culture where students often felt pressured towards traditional career paths like big tech, consulting, or banking. Rajin himself pursued this path, securing a coveted internship at JP Morgan in Dallas, which he initially enjoyed. However, he harbored a "dirty little secret": his true passion lay in a different, less conventional pursuit. Every day, outside of his academic and professional commitments, Rajin dedicated himself to buying dirty shoes from thrift stores, flea markets, and garage sales. He would bring carloads of these shoes back to a small office near UVA, meticulously clean them with Lysol wipes, photograph them in a light box, and then list and sell them on eBay. This activity, done in silence for three years, made him feel truly alive. One day, he confided in Tuan, a mentor who owned a local coffee shop. Rajin expressed his interest in sharing his shoe-selling venture on social media but feared ridicule. Tuan's response was transformative: he acknowledged that people would likely laugh and that Rajin would "suck in the beginning." However, Tuan drew an analogy to riding a bike. He explained that while keeping training wheels on prevents falling, it also prevents true progress. To do something great, one must remove the training wheels, which, in Rajin's case, meant making that first social media post. Tuan guaranteed wobbling and laughter, but reframed this "wobbling" not as negative, but as "learning." This perspective shift led Rajin to associate cringe with learning, rather than something to be avoided. In his senior year, he posted his first video. As Tuan predicted, he faced immediate teasing from his peers. While the first video was too embarrassing to show, his third video, a candid glimpse into his shoe-cleaning process, garnered half a million views. Rajin was shocked and sought Tuan's explanation. Tuan attributed the video's unexpected popularity to a shift on social media towards authenticity. Rajin, unlike many online personalities who boast about wealth and success, presented himself as a college student genuinely enjoying his unique hustle of buying cheap shoes and reselling them for a modest profit. Encouraged, Rajin continued to post, creating 50, then 100 videos. He realized that as he kept "wobbling" and learning, he not only rode the "bike" in a straight line but also started to perform "tricks"—skills that attracted attention. This newfound visibility led to an unexpected opportunity: a high school friend presented him with a deal to develop two and a half acres of land in Front Royal, Virginia. Rajin invested all his shoe-selling earnings into this cabin project, documenting the entire process, "wobbling" through the challenges. The "tricks" of documenting his journey transformed into a "show" watched by millions, with the cabin project attracting 100 million views in one month. The final product was a fully booked Airbnb. Despite this success and growth, Rajin primarily remembered the embarrassment of his initial "wobbling" and the constant fear of his peers' judgment. However, the most significant shift occurred when he noticed people close to him, including friends like Owen, starting to post on social media themselves. This inspired him deeply, demonstrating that witnessing someone close "wobble" can empower others to take their own leap. Rajin concludes by addressing the audience, suggesting that many hold back from pursuing their ideas not due to a lack of knowledge, but out of fear of judgment. He likens this to a rough rock that needs to be cut, ground, and given "reps"—requiring wobbling, learning, and ultimately, cringe, to become a diamond. He urges everyone to identify what "taking the training wheels off" means for them, whether it's hitting record on a phone, starting to run on a treadmill, opening a textbook, or public speaking. Rajin himself exemplifies this, confronting his fear of public speaking by "wobbling" on stage.