How To Not Lose in Life | Melvin Hade | TEDxSVP Youth

Melvin shares his personal journey and five key mindsets that have guided him through 13 years of academic and professional experience, especially in overcoming recent adversities. He begins by emphasizing the importance of context, recounting his upbringing where his parents encouraged him to forge his own path. This led him to pursue his undergraduate studies at the University of Indonesia, where he proactively sought internships starting at age 19. He completed three internships at Yobi Bank, Mandiri Sekuritas, and Credit Suisse Investment Bank, gaining valuable real-world experience. His academic journey culminated in an early graduation in three and a half years with the highest GPA in his program, a proud achievement driven by his motivation to make his parents proud. Following graduation, Melvin embarked on a career in management consulting at McKinsey & Company, which he recommends for fresh graduates. He then transitioned into venture capital and private equity, achieving the position of partner at a venture capital fund at the young age of 24. He later moved to Northstar Group before establishing his own company, Kayella, in March 2025 at the age of 30, named after his daughters. Melvin's seemingly perfect life was shaken seven months prior when an anonymous, false post spread widely, severely damaging his hard-earned credibility. He uses this experience to illustrate how quickly reputation can be undermined, emphasizing that while such hardships are unfair, the key is how one responds. He notes that reactions to such crises range from criticism and gossip to silence, support, and actual help. This challenging period led him to distill five powerful mindsets that have enabled him to persevere: 1. **Know Your Life Purpose:** Melvin stresses the importance of having a clear “why” – the reason for waking up and pursuing your goals. This purpose acts as an anchor during difficult times, preventing discouragement and filtering out unproductive activities. For him, his parents were his initial life purpose, witnessing their sacrifices. If a specific purpose isn't yet clear, he advises to strive to be your best version daily, believing that consistent effort will compound and lead to objectives. He also recommends actively investing time to discover one's life purpose over time. 2. **Manipulate Your Own Mind:** This involves controlling your thoughts, as "what you think, you become." Melvin explains this as reframing negative situations into positive ones. For instance, facing his lowest point, he told himself it was the absolute bottom and the only way forward was up, motivating him to rebuild his credibility. This also means making all potential outcomes desirable. He uses the analogy of a Barcelona fan betting against their team: even if the team loses and brings sadness, the bet provides a financial gain, hedging the outcome. He practices this by journaling to understand and guide his thinking process. 3. **Lock Yourself Up in the Right Prison:** This means creating an environment where escape, quitting, or succumbing to temptation is impossible. He uses the example of trying to lose weight by not stocking the refrigerator with ice cream, acknowledging human susceptibility to temptation. It’s about understanding your behavior and eliminating potential pitfalls to consistently perform at your best. 4. **Sense of Competition:** Melvin clarifies this isn't about competing with others but with something greater. This could be a future version of yourself, a deadline, or a career milestone. This "burning platform" drives you to perform at your peak. He illustrates this by comparing his own academic timeline with that of successful professionals at similar ages, aiming to achieve similar milestones. 5. **Embrace Abnormalities and Resistance:** Melvin points out that society often dislikes and frowns upon those who are different or significantly above average. This can lead to resistance, hatred, gossip, and rumors as people try to rationalize what they don't understand. He advises against being discouraged by this. Instead, he urges people to use such negativity and jealousy as fuel for their motivation, recognizing that those who hate you are often the ones who would be happiest to see you fail. Finally, Melvin reiterates his core message with the universally powerful advice: "Do not give up." He assures listeners that one difficult chapter does not define their entire life story. He encourages them to get back up and move forward, just as he strives to do, and hopes they never lose. He offers his email for anyone facing similar challenges, inviting them for a coffee.