A Solution To Heartache: Memory

When we lose love, friends may offer the consolation that we at least experienced it once. However, the pain isn't that love didn't happen, but that it's gone. This sadness highlights a prejudice against memory, suggesting that past pleasant events are useless and only the present can bring satisfaction. This prejudice is also evident in our society's emphasis on new travel experiences over revisiting past ones. While this benefits the economy, it may neglect the mind's capacity. Memories are powerful tools for preserving pleasant events, with almost nothing truly lost. Recalling a trip, for instance, can bring back vivid details of sights, sounds, and tastes, with one memory often triggering others. Despite this, there's a societal suspicion around dwelling on memories. Yet, revisiting past pleasures through memory can be intensely satisfying. Memories offer advantages over real-life experiences: they are accessible anytime, at low cost, and free from distractions or anxieties that can mar present enjoyment. For example, recalling a trip can bring back the beauty of a place without the physical discomforts or worries experienced at the time. This principle applies to love as well. Even if we are alone and may not find such love again, the entire story of that love is preserved. The details of the first evening, the hesitations, the messages – all remain accessible. We often neglect to revisit these memories because it lacks social prestige; meditating on past love or travel is seen as odd, with a focus solely on the present. However, we need to rediscover memory's ability to reclaim what time takes away and what the present may not offer. Our craving for new happiness often stems not from a lack of past happy experiences, but from forgetting to remember them deeply. Our minds possess a magical power to revisit youth, past travels, meals, and even the joy of childhood discoveries. When grief strikes, we can re-experience the delightful aspects of past love. The more we remember, the less the present can cause us pain.