I Thought She Only Wanted My Money… I Was Completely Wrong

Michael, a 39-year-old from Manchester, believed he understood Thailand after five years of on-and-off visits. Having been "burned" by past relationships where financial requests accumulated, he approached his latest trip with a colder, less trusting mindset. He had been talking to a woman for about a year, spending time with her during his two-month stays in luxurious condos and hotels. Despite her never complaining or asking for anything, Michael remained suspicious, attributing her contentment to the comfortable surroundings. He found himself constantly analyzing her reactions to money, her suggestions for outings, and her willingness to pay for small items, feeling justified in his caution due to past disappointments. This deep-seated distrust led him to devise a "test" for her. Without her knowledge, he decided to book a cheap apartment in Bangkok, stripping away all luxuries to see if her affection was genuine or merely tied to his financial provision. He booked a small, basic place for 15,000 baht a month, a decision he now recognizes as driven by a need to prove a point rather than find a decent living space. The apartment was rough around the edges, with flickering lights, a noisy elevator, and a small, sparsely furnished room. Upon arrival, Michael immediately imagined her potential disappointment, which, instead of making him reconsider, solidified his resolve to proceed with the test. He convinced himself that if she truly cared, the living conditions wouldn't matter. When he messaged her about his arrival, she was excited and asked where he was staying. He vaguely replied, "Somewhere different," and sent her the location for the next day, committing to his plan. The following day, he meticulously tidied the small room, acutely aware that no amount of effort would transform it into the luxurious spaces they had previously shared. He braced himself for her reaction, anticipating a visible sign of disappointment. Upon meeting her, she greeted him normally, smiling and hugging him, making him feel worse about his intentions. As they walked back to the apartment, he grew quiet, his mind fixated on her impending reaction. She glanced at the building without judgment, a small nod as they entered. The flickering hallway lights and distant TV noise heightened his anticipation. When she walked into the room, she slowly looked around, her eyes moving from the bed to the kitchen and window. After a brief pause, she turned to him, smiled, and simply said, "It's okay." She then sat on the creaking bed, laughed, and joked about eating more Shaboo, completely surprising Michael. Her lack of complaint or disappointment made him feel foolish for having expected a negative reaction. That first night was simple. They ate at a local spot with plastic chairs, and Michael, for once, didn't check the prices. He found himself just watching her, realizing that this felt "normal," a new and unexpected feeling in Thailand. Back at the apartment, they watched Netflix shoulder-to-shoulder, and she showed no signs of discomfort or desire for an upgrade. Over the next few days, they fell into an easy routine. She never complained about the struggling air conditioning or the small space, often joking about it. She even seemed more relaxed than on his previous trips. Michael started to second-guess his cautious approach. She wasn't asking for money or pushing for anything; in fact, she often suggested cheaper places to eat and even insisted on paying for meals. One evening, they ate takeaway on the floor because the table was too small, and he found himself wondering why this felt better than their expensive outings. This thought deeply troubled him, as it meant he might have been wrong about her and his perceived "lessons" about Thailand. He realized he had been testing her, waiting for her to prove his suspicions, but she was simply being herself. He began to relax, enjoying their time together and even accepting her friend into their circle, thinking, "This might actually be real." This, he now believes, was the moment everything started to go wrong. The turning point came one evening when his girlfriend had to work late. Alone in the apartment, Michael received a message from her friend asking if he was alone. Despite a moment of hesitation, he replied, and they ended up meeting for a drink. The dynamic shifted without his girlfriend present; her friend became more focused on him, asking personal questions about his past relationships and why he kept returning to Thailand. Michael, surprisingly, opened up, even joking about his "clever" decision to book the cheap apartment. As she leaned in closer, he realized he was stepping into a situation he shouldn't be in but made the quiet decision to stay. This led to a series of bad decisions, the details of which he chose not to elaborate on, only acknowledging that they occurred. Returning to the apartment, a heavy feeling of guilt settled in. He knew he had ruined something good. He began to rationalize his actions, telling himself that this was how things always went, that he didn't truly know her, and that it was better now than later. When his girlfriend messaged him, asking if he was okay, he replied normally, hiding what had happened. He then began to twist the situation, questioning if she might have done the same, despite having no proof. This shift in mindset allowed him to justify not telling her, creating a narrative where his actions were less egregious. The next day, the weight of his secret made every interaction feel heavy. When his girlfriend arrived, she was her usual self, oblivious to his betrayal. At one point, she casually picked up his phone and asked, "Who messaged you last night?" mentioning her friend's name. Michael's stomach dropped as he realized he was caught. He didn't even attempt to lie, understanding she already knew. She asked "Why?" with a quiet sadness, not anger, which made it worse. He had no answer. She began to cry, asking if she had done something wrong, if he wasn't happy. He realized she had passed his unspoken test, yet he had still found a way to ruin it. She then picked up her bag and left, leaving him alone in the apartment, which now felt emptier than ever. In the three days since, Michael has tried to contact her without success. He replays the moment she asked "Why," acknowledging that he doesn't fully understand it either. She never asked for money, accepted him as he was, even in the cheap apartment he deliberately chose. He was so focused on not being used that he became the one to mess things up. He is now unsure whether to try and win her back or accept that he ruined the one good thing he had in Thailand.