Compassion and civility in education can change the world | Alex Winnicker | TEDxMurfreesboro

The speaker addresses the prevalent political discord, noting that society has reached a point where people cannot disagree without dehumanizing each other. The proposed solution is to teach children to disagree with honor, drawing inspiration from the principle of Southern hospitality. This principle emphasizes that one's character is revealed more by how they react during disagreement than by online posts or votes. Children observe and learn from adult behaviors, which currently demonstrate that the "other side is the enemy" and must be destroyed. The speaker introduces two core constructs: "honor before victory" and the "front porch principle." Honor before victory means prioritizing understanding and learning from others over simply winning an argument. The speaker, with 20 years in education, highlights that while coaches often stress "how you play the game" over winning, this principle needs to extend beyond sports into classrooms and daily life. To implement "honor before victory" in education, the speaker suggests an alternative to traditional debates. Instead of dividing students into opposing sides on issues like school funding, students should be tasked with finding solutions that benefit everyone involved. This approach is more challenging than simply picking a side but encourages curiosity, wonder, and the generation of third options, diverting time away from hate. Kids are quick learners and can unlearn bad habits faster than adults. The "front porch principle" addresses the setting and invitation to difficult conversations. A front porch, being neither fully public nor private, symbolizes a safe, neutral space for dialogue. The speaker advocates for creating such "front porches" in various settings—classrooms, restaurants, living rooms—and establishing clear rules for engagement. These rules include treating others' perspectives as if you are a guest in their home, being accountable for both intent and impact (e.g., clarifying "I didn't mean it that way" with "How did you hear it?"), and prioritizing learning and understanding over winning. The goal is to cultivate genuine curiosity, encouraging individuals to approach disagreements with questions rather than immediate judgment. The current generation is often afraid of disagreement, having witnessed adults lose friends, family, and composure over political discord. By teaching "honor before victory" and fostering "front porch" conversations, society can regain the "muscle" of respectful disagreement. Understanding another's principles does not equate to agreement, but it establishes a fundamental agreement: that the person across from you is worthy of conversation.