"I'm Scared to Death For You"

The caller has been with her partner for eight years, and they have two children, ages three and six. Her partner has expressed that he does not want to get married, viewing it as "just a piece of paper," which is difficult for her as she desires marriage. Financially, her partner supports her and the children. She has $25,000 in savings, while he has significantly more, including inherited assets like two buildings and pre-existing money. They live in his deceased parents' home, which he owns with his brother, so there is no mortgage. He covers all household expenses, totaling about $4,000 a month, as she is a stay-at-home mom. She occasionally earns about $500 monthly from "hustles." She has two main questions: should she disregard her desire for marriage, and should she invest her $25,000? Her primary fear is what would happen to her children and her ability to care for them if something were to happen to her partner, as she believes she would not be entitled to anything without being married. The hosts emphasize her vulnerability, stating that if he were to die or leave, she would be in a dire situation, potentially becoming a "homeless single mom." They note that her partner doesn't seem to understand this reality. The hosts point out that there's an underlying tension in her home, implying she's not considered valuable enough for marriage but is valuable enough to have children with. They acknowledge her difficult position, as she feels she can't afford to move out and be a single mom. She hopes to start a new job soon, but it won't pay much and will likely be part-time. The advice given is to address her legitimate fear by creating a plan. She needs to explore what it would take for her to work full-time and support herself and her children, including finding affordable childcare. The hosts assure her that solutions exist, but she needs to actively seek answers to the question of whether she can survive without him. Currently, she believes she cannot, but they assert that she can, though it requires effort to figure it out. One host suggests that her partner's "just a piece of paper" comment would be a dealbreaker for long-term commitment if it were them. They believe she will regret not making a change at this "pivotal moment." The recommendation is to tell her partner that she disagrees and that if he wants to be with her, marriage is necessary. If not, they need to begin to "decouple," and she needs to understand what that entails. However, before reaching that point, she must determine how she can care for herself and her children independently. Her $25,000 savings can serve as an emergency fund, especially since she has no debt. The hosts then ask if she would want her daughter to be in a similar situation, to which she replies no. They urge her to "fix it," emphasizing that she is modeling this lifestyle for her daughter, showing her that this is how men are supposed to treat women, which is incorrect. They state she is being held "hostage financially," feels vulnerable and disrespected, and that this atmosphere affects her daughter. Data is presented to highlight the financial benefits of marriage. For individuals aged 35-54, the average married couple has a net worth of $329,000. In contrast, an unmarried male in the same age group has an average net worth of $87,000 (one-fourth), and an unmarried female has $35,000 (one-tenth). The caller's current financial situation places her at about 10% of what she would have had if married for eight years. For those 65 and above, the average married couple has a net worth of $608,000, while unmarried males have $218,000 (one-third) and unmarried females have $174,000 (25%). The data also indicates that 75% of millionaires are married. Beyond finances, married males outlive unmarried males by an average of eight years, and married females outlive unmarried females by four years. Cancer survival rates are 20% higher among married individuals. The hosts conclude that the answer to many questions, including the caller's, is "get married."