Am I Obligated To Take Care of My Mom? (I'm 22)

A 22-year-old caller is concerned about her 50-year-old mother, who is financially irresponsible and currently depends on her own mother. The caller fears she will eventually become her mother's financial support and wants to know how to prepare and set boundaries. The hosts advise her not to worry about it immediately but acknowledge the difficulty of the situation. The mother does not work, is unmarried, and claims to have an undiagnosed autoimmune disability, which the hosts view with suspicion, suggesting it might be laziness. The hosts recommend reading Henry Cloud's book "Boundaries" to prepare for the emotional challenges. They emphasize that the mother has likely never been told "no" and will react poorly to boundaries. The core advice is for the caller to build a successful life for herself, separate from her mother's financial issues. She is told her mother is not her responsibility and had every opportunity to work. Setting boundaries will be painful because her mother will likely react with anger and guilt trips, calling her a horrible daughter or crazy. There is no trick or strategy to avoid this negative reaction; her mother will be upset. The only alternative is to become equally dysfunctional and enable her mother's behavior. The mother will only change if she decides to take responsibility for her own life, which the caller cannot force. The hosts stress bracing for emotional pain when the time comes to set these boundaries.