The Meditation Technique That Backfired For Me (And The Simple Fix)

The speaker recently attended a retreat, which provided an opportunity to reflect on their meditation practice. They acknowledge being a novice and compare meditation to exercise, highlighting that there are many different approaches, such as Vipassanā, Transcendental Meditation (TM), and Zen. The value of retreats lies in the ability to describe one's experiences during meditation, like focusing on breath or observing thoughts, and receiving feedback from experienced guides. For instance, the speaker noted a "planning compulsion" during sits, where their mind defaulted to tasks they needed to do, rather than memories or fantasies. Guides like Henry or Valerie can then suggest alternative techniques for subsequent sits, allowing for a refinement of practice. The speaker also drew parallels between meditation and other experiences that can lead to a "transcendental state," such as psychedelic experiences or breathwork, which can help in not fixating on the self. They recalled feeling frustrated during a previous retreat but experienced a period of "blissful, calm attention" for several days after returning to their regular life, suggesting that the benefits of such practices might manifest later. This delayed payoff is also observed with breathwork and psychedelics, where the positive effects become noticeable in the days or weeks following the experience. A specific example from the retreat involved the practice of "labeling" thoughts, where one might label a thought as "radio" for talking or "video" for images or planning. However, for the speaker, who has OCD, this practice became counterproductive and stressful, turning into repetitive labeling. In response, Henry, one of the guides, suggested a simpler approach for the next two sits: "Just be still." This instruction proved remarkably effective in calming the speaker's mind. This experience led the speaker to conclude that, much like exercise, different meditation techniques suit different individuals. While some might thrive with "open monitoring" practices where one observes all thoughts, the speaker found that a concentration practice, similar to Transcendental Meditation but focusing on "just be still," yielded significant benefits. They plan to incorporate this "just be still" concentration practice for 10 to 20 minutes twice a day, recognizing that the "payoff is what you notice in the next unfolding week or two or three." The retreat was described as very invigorating, and the insights gained from the tailored guidance were particularly helpful.