
WHY I CAN’T PULL ANYMORE… WHAT CHANGED? 😳
AI Summary
The speaker addresses a common confusion in the dating advice landscape, particularly for men. He notes the overwhelming amount of information available online, from social media to AI-driven dating strategies, which can be incredibly confusing, especially for beginners. He contrasts this with his own approach, which he describes as focusing on a core, fundamental skill set that allows men to meet and connect with women anywhere, anytime, and very quickly. This skill set, he emphasizes, is about building genuine attraction and rapport, not about gimmicks or shortcuts.
He then delves into a specific question from a student who hasn't "pulled" (had sex) in a month, despite making out. The student expresses confusion, questioning whether they want it too much or not enough, and notes a trend of increased hesitation to approach women, leading to a feeling of self-rejection. The student believes the goal shouldn't be solely "getting laid" because it's too chaotic and outside of one's direct control. Instead, they propose that the win should be in doing what's scary, making the approach itself the victory. This leads to an internal conflict between external results (sex) and internal results (freedom, state of being).
The speaker acknowledges the student's confusion and the frustration of a dry spell. He argues that the core issue lies in the lack of fun. He posits that if one is not having fun for a month, something is fundamentally wrong with their approach. He believes that the pursuit of becoming good with women often leads to being overly critical of oneself, which is not enjoyable. The key, he suggests, is to find enjoyment in the process, in the act of going out and interacting, rather than solely focusing on the outcome.
He explains that when people are having fun and enjoying what they're doing, they naturally become less outcome-dependent. They are not judging themselves as harshly and are more focused on their actions. The pursuit of a specific result, like sex, can lead to chasing validation and the wrong things, which is unhealthy. The speaker advocates for finding actionable goals that bring enjoyment without the pressure of immediate results. Fun, he contends, is what allows one to persevere through dry spells and ultimately leads to the desired results.
The speaker introduces a "psychology hack" where the goal should be about execution and taking action, not just the outcome. He shares that even after ten years, he always goes out with an intention or a specific aspect he wants to work on, whether it's a mindset, a technical skill, or a particular interaction. This focus on progress and improvement, combined with enjoyment in the process, is what leads to satisfaction and, consequently, positive outcomes like getting laid.
He revisits the student's situation, suggesting that "pulling" should not be the sole goal. Instead, the focus should be on the intermediate steps, such as "moving girls" or engaging with groups of people. The enjoyment derived from these actions, from the process of interaction itself, is crucial. He encourages identifying actionable goals each night and executing them, as this is where the real issues will surface and be addressed. The current confusion, he believes, stems from an overemphasis on the ultimate outcome.
Finally, the speaker wraps up by mentioning his own busy schedule, balancing his engineering job with boxing and stretching, and preparing for an upcoming event in Texas. He briefly promotes his boot camps, noting their demand and limited availability, and signs off.