FILIPINOS SPEAK ENGLISH? HERE'S WHAT HAPPENED/LOST IN TRANSLATION

When considering retirement in Asia, the Philippines often stands out due to the widely advertised fact that English is spoken there. While this is true to a degree, the reality presents a significant and ongoing learning curve for foreigners, often leading to misunderstandings, humorously termed "nosebleleed" by locals, which means a headache. One crucial difference is the literal interpretation of language. Sarcasm, a common form of humor in Western cultures, is almost universally misunderstood and can cause genuine emotional distress. Attempts at sarcastic jokes are often taken literally, leading to awkward situations and hurt feelings, as demonstrated by an incident at lunch where a joke was completely missed by local women. Another challenge for fast talkers is the local aversion to rapid speech. Speaking quickly can lead to "nosebleleed," where locals pretend to understand to avoid confrontation or appearing rude, even if they have no idea what is being said. The cultural norm here is to avoid direct confrontation, making it difficult for them to ask someone to slow down. Asking for directions also reveals cultural differences. Locals do not point with their fingers, considering it rude. Instead, they use their lips to indicate direction. Furthermore, they tend to be shy and non-confrontational, often keeping information "on the down low" to avoid potentially embarrassing or insecure feelings in others. Even common words can have vastly different meanings. A memorable experience involved asking for "napkins" in a restaurant. In the Philippines, "napkin" refers to a feminine hygiene product, causing confusion and embarrassment for the server. The correct term to ask for is "tissue," though these are often thin and small, making it advisable for foreigners to carry their own. Navigating directions can also be tricky. When asked to go "straight," a local might tilt their head to the right, indicating a curve rather than a direct path. Ambiguous answers like "yes" when asked to turn left or right are also common, reflecting a different way of processing and communicating instructions. The level of English proficiency also varies significantly. While some Filipinos speak English fluently, comparable to native speakers, many others have a more basic understanding. Foreigners should be prepared for this spectrum of communication abilities, rather than assuming everyone will speak like the articulate vloggers they might encounter online. A subtle but significant cultural nuance is the infrequent use of "thank you" and "you're welcome." The speaker recounted being initially offended when people he treated to meals would simply leave without expressing gratitude. He later learned from a local woman, who had a foreign boyfriend, that saying "thank you" is primarily a "foreigner thing." Similarly, a "you're welcome" response to "thank you" is not a common practice. In essence, while brochures may tout white sandy beaches and easy visas alongside widespread English, it's crucial to approach these claims with a "grain of salt." The English spoken in the Philippines, while present, comes with cultural nuances, different interpretations of words, and varying levels of fluency that require an open mind and a willingness to learn and adapt.