Silence Only Protects the Violence | Baktygul Chynybaeva | TEDxUofM

The speaker begins by confessing to being a "thief," but clarifies that they steal dreams, not possessions. They paint a vivid and disturbing picture of bride kidnapping in Kyrgyzstan, where young girls are abducted, forced into marriage with strangers, and their dreams are shattered. This practice, normalized by tradition and often condoned by authorities, affects one in five girls in the country. The speaker's personal journey as a dream thief began at age eight when they witnessed their uncle kidnap a 17-year-old girl who dreamed of studying philology. This experience ignited a promise to honor and bring to life the stolen dreams of others. Throughout their life, the speaker collected these stolen dreams, learning that many girls aspired to be teachers, nurses, lawyers, or journalists. Having personally escaped bride kidnapping, the speaker pursued a career in journalism, focusing on issues like domestic violence, family breakdown, and girls forced out of school, all of which were linked to the custom of bride kidnapping. Their initial attempts to seek accountability from authorities were met with silence and indifference. However, the constant flow of desperate calls from victims pushed the speaker to create a support network, offering shelter and a listening ear. A turning point occurred when the speaker's own 18-year-old niece was kidnapped. Despite their professional connections, the official response was dismissive and even congratulatory. However, the speaker's practice of recording conversations proved crucial. By threatening to release the recording, they compelled the police to act, leading to their niece's safe return within hours. This incident revealed the inadequacy of mere reporting; it was time for active advocacy. The speaker then shifted their strategy from awareness-raising to direct engagement. They began having uncomfortable conversations with family members and friends, including their uncle's wife, urging them not to perpetuate the cycle of stolen dreams. They confronted individuals involved in bride kidnapping, calling it violence, rape, and a crime, and labeling participants as criminals. This direct approach, combined with organizing protests and leveraging social media, began to create a ripple effect. The speaker wrote a book for teenage girls on bodily autonomy and the right to say no. Gradually, relatives, then entire villages and cities in Kyrgyzstan, started to abandon the practice. Other activists joined the movement, and lawyers offered pro bono services. Teachers encouraged students to assert their right to refuse, and young men began to reject participation in abductions. This collective effort culminated in 2019 when the nation demanded and achieved the criminalization of bride kidnapping, leading to the punishment of abductors. Although the initial victim of their uncle's kidnapping did not achieve her academic dream, thousands of other girls in Kyrgyzstan are now free to pursue their aspirations. The speaker concludes by highlighting the pervasive nature of violence in various forms, from human trafficking to rape and murder, and emphasizes the common human tendency to remain silent, rationalizing inaction by saying it's "not my business" or that one person cannot make a difference. Drawing from their experience in Kyrgyzstan, they assert that breaking the silence is paramount. They urge the audience to recognize that advocacy does not require special credentials; it simply demands a refusal to look away from injustice, even when it is uncomfortable or close to home. The core message is that silence protects violence, and to combat it, one must speak out.