My journey into play | Wen Wan Wang-Whelan | TEDxTrinityCollegeDublin

The speaker recounts a pivotal moment involving a brown envelope that initially caused hesitation but ultimately changed the course of her life, emphasizing how our responses to life's offerings shape our journey. Her story begins at 17, enrolled in a secure accountancy program in Singapore, a path favored by her parents for its financial stability. However, she left college after only two months to pursue her passion for understanding human behavior. This led her down a less conventional academic route: a postgraduate diploma in life sciences and chemical technology, followed by a master's in neuroscience, and a PhD in neuroscience specializing in learning and memory in animal models, which involved extensive observation of rats. At 28, while completing her PhD, she became a new mother. Her son was born with Down syndrome, a diagnosis that brought grief, pain, uncertainty, and fear, dismantling her previous understanding of life. She describes experiencing shame, feeling as though she was mourning her baby. A nurse offered a brown envelope containing information about Down syndrome, but the speaker felt an inner resistance, a whisper that her son was "more than a diagnosis." This sentiment was echoed by her father, who relayed her grandfather's words, "You don't know him yet." A professor's encouragement, "You will not give up," steadied her and provided permission to continue her challenging PhD journey, which felt like being "dragged across the tarmac in broken glass," especially with a newborn. She realized the importance of a strong support network, comparing it to the wide and deep roots of a tree. She found solace in Carol Anne, a retired play therapist interviewing for a childminder position. Carol Anne's approach—immediately engaging with the child, delighting in him—shifted the speaker's perspective. Carol Anne showed her the simpler act of "See the child, not the diagnosis," planting a seed for the speaker's future. Her second child, Mera, presented a different journey. Mera, at 18 months, independently expressed her needs and later toilet-trained herself, demonstrating self-possession. The speaker reflects on her son, Alex, who lives in the moment, seeks and incites joy, reminding her to find joy as well. Her curiosity about play therapy deepened, leading her to pursue it as a career. Despite initial rejection due to perceived lack of qualification, she committed to a longer four-year course, accepting that she would be 40 by its completion. This marked an alignment between her neuroscience background and her emerging identity as a play therapist. The speaker highlights that play therapists have long observed children healing through relationship and play, a phenomenon now being explained by neuroscience. She explains that the brain develops hierarchically, from the brain stem (survival) to the limbic system (emotion) and finally the cortex (reasoning). Play therapists engage with children at their current developmental level, and when safety is sensed, the social engagement system activates, enabling connection and making play possible. Play, she asserts, is not random but a way of wiring safety through repeated experiences, applicable not only to children but also to teams, communities, schools, and organizations, fostering innovation when individuals feel safe to explore. She concludes by stating she hasn't left neuroscience but has applied it on the ground as a play therapist. Her call to action is to ask not who someone "should be," but "who they are" and "how you can be with them." Finally, she opens the brown envelope, revealing artwork from her children and husband, symbolizing messages of finding joy, slowing down when in doubt, understanding that growth happens when safety is present, and celebrating successes while acknowledging interdependence. She dedicates her presentation to her parents, hoping it represents a reasonable return on their investment in her education.